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Sunday - Pride Day... was nice [Jul. 31st, 2005|08:04 pm]
[mood |exhaustedexhausted]

Today was an experience... It was a beautiful day in San Diego and Valerie and I spent most of the day in Balboa Park at the San Diego Pride. It was very cool, There were couples in all shapes and sizes and races and creeds and colors and sexual affiliations... it was a varitable cornucopia of lust, love, exploration, kink, and people watching... I have an amazing woman who would say "Honey look over there" and "That is amazing." I was doing the same thing to her and evertime I saw boys snuggling or kissing or with their handsdown each other's pants I pointed and told her - she likes boy sex and if it gets her hot - I get to take care of her at home!!! Sneaky me I know but - Oh butt nothing - I like her motor revving lol!!! I took off my shorts and tried on a Utilikilt and it was pretty cool - it was way cool for the twins and very comfortable. I would post the pic but don't know how!

I got a little sunburned today but it was my fault - I hate lotion and sunblock is lotion - really I don't like the sun (I know that is why we pay to live here). I just don't like to be in the sun - I can sit in the shade and view the ocean or the park or the Pride event and be perfectly happy tp kick back and watch - thus enjoying the fruits of the sun without being scorched by it. I feel bad that I got burned and was out late I have a friend in town and said I would grab a drink with her and her friend but I was hot and tired. Hopefully we can grab a drink tomorrow around lunchtime.

Well I am gonna watch tv with my Baby Baby - see ya'all later.
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Another day older and deeper in debt.... [Jul. 28th, 2005|10:01 pm]
[mood |lethargiclethargic]

I am here and I am still kicking... I tried to blow off work a little early today and was sucked back in until 5:30 tonight. It was the pits although the last hour was over beers at the pub. Then I went over to Roger's house and we found solace in each other's company. A good friend of Roger and Lisa's passed away on Saturday and ya'all know my sob story. It was nice, Lisa hung out on the phone with a gilfriend and Rog and I played pool and darts in pretty much silence. It was really cool because we were both hurting and we just got to hang out and not think about it as much.

I did have four beers (2 at the bar and 2 at Rogers) but it was a 4 hour span and I was careful. Depression and alcohol aren't a good combination and I was aware of that as well. I will be the first to admit that when it comes to drowning myself in pity nothing works better than Dublin Mudslide (a Ben & Jerry's ice cream) and Rocky Road as a close second - Oh yea Baby... nothing better. It absolutely kills me the next day (I am lactose intolerant) but when I am down that is the ticket, the bomb, the best damn thing ever - even better than sex (when I am depressed... otherwise sex wins)!!!

Well we have scheduled our trip to San Francisco for August and we will get to see Sherri and Brian for three or four nights and two or three days depending on their availability. I have not seen them since Vegas and I cannot wait - they are awesome. Valerie got to see them two-weekends ago and she came back all happy and I was jealous but stoked for her just the same. The weekend that we are going is the weekend that Brian's playing two gigs in San Francisco at a fair on Sunday - so that rocks too, literally!

Well I am beat and beaten and I am heaed to bed. I have a busy partial work day tomorrow.

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The good, the bad, and the ugly... [Jul. 27th, 2005|08:04 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |John Mayer - Room for Squares]

OMG what a week.... My wife came into town Sunday and left today my Ex-wife... Translated into English it was a very wicked four days! It started Sunday night with her saying "we can work this out" and "every fiber of my being knows this is wrong" to "if you do this I am never talking to you again!" Now before anybody jumps to the conclusion that I am a dirtbag - the divorce was her idea and she asked for it on December 26, 2003. I did not file until September of 2004... So Monday we go to the San Diego Superior Courthouse and she is telling me we do not have to do this and there is a huge part of me that is thinking that she might be right. But it is cyclical and I don't think she really wants me - she wants control over my actions and thoughts and when I didn't step to her beat - she became irritable and mean - it was crazy. It also meant that my kids (who are only here in the summer) had their time with me cut very short and they left today with her for St. Louis. I miss them already - I had no concentration at work today and I have felt like things are just blah and colorless since they left. I know every parent says this but my babies are cool - yes, they have issues like every other human being on earth but they are good and decent and caring and I love them.

I had been feeling like I had been neglecting my Valerie and ordered her some flowers on Monday - to sort of say sorry for being distant and self-centered and to let her know that I love her and she is wonderful. She was happy and suprised which made me feel good. But really she did all of the hard work suffering my indifference and sulkiness and breaking my funk where she was able. I am so grateful she is in my life.

Well I guess that wraps it up for today... except to explain the subject:
the good is Valerie and my divorce is final
the bad was my ex and the divorce
and the ugly was where things ended up with the woman who bore my children and was married to me for 15 years....
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(no subject) [Jul. 22nd, 2005|01:32 pm]
[mood |self-aware]

It was weird to make an entry into this... journal after so long having not done so. So much has happened in my life in the last 4 months that I would not know where to begin or what to include. Suffice it to say that I am now firmly committed to my loving and supportive better half (Valerie)... we have become inseparable and I love being with her. We now live together in Mira Mesa and have made a nice home of what was just an apartment... Work has been stressful, very demanding and fast paced with a high-turnover of personnel... but I brought an old friend back into my life and he now works with me and that is fantastic. Brad thanks for coming back to San Diego and for coming to SRA. I missed you while you were becoming an educated Aggie.

My children have been here for several weeks and it has been wonderful. Valerie and the girls dyed Katie's hair and took her a girls nite out - she was in heaven for those 5 hours... 10 years old and had her nails and toes done, had her hair highlighted, and dinner and she was all a flutter this morning looking at herself. The boys are doing just fine - Dougie is growing into a fine and handsome man - he has all of the potential in the world but needs self-confidence. Jason exudes self-confidence but lacks self-control... so I guess it all works out in the wash lol. Valerie took Dougie and I to see Tears for Fears and to have dinner at Humphreys - it was really a good time - Dougie said he never saw so many crazy old people - I had to giggle... then I realized I was one of those people he was talking about = not so funny now!!!

Went to the Vegas bash over the 4th of July weekend and I was leery of the whole ordeal - not sure if I would be jealous or feel out of place or anything like that but it was a great time. I met some wonderful people and danced til I hurt - it was very nice. I had a bit of sexy fun with another couple and that was a new experience for me... I have the greatest feeling of comfort when with Valerie and Brian and Sherri just fit into that environment exquisitely. I am looking forward to seeing them again and again. I met Valerie's ex and though I did not come right out and giggle - I wanted to but did not. I was not impressed and I was a bit offended by him and his elitist attitude but bygones.

To the future:
On Sunday the kids Mom gets here and on Monday - we go to court for our divorce. I am so ready for this to be done. I love Shirley on many levels but love was never our problem - Monday is going to suck alot. I know that the he said she said crap will start, I know that things will be really tense, and I know that I will survive so I just need to keep going. Shirley is planning on taking the kids back to St Louis on Wednesday and I am dreading that already. I wish that they were closer and that I could spend more time with them.

Anyhoot - I guess I have rambled enough for today... I am ok...
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It has been awhile but I liked this so.... [Jul. 21st, 2005|05:44 pm]
[mood |boredbored]

I am The Chariot

The Chariot often appears when hard control is or could be in evidence. At its best, hard control is not brutal, but firm and direct. It is backed up by a strong will and great confidence. The Chariot can mean self-control or control of the environment. This card also represents victory. There are many types of wins; the Chariot's is of the win-lose type. Your success comes from beating the competition to become number one. Such moments are glorious in the right circumstances.

For a full description of your card and other goodies, please visit LearnTarot.com

What tarot card are you? Enter your birthdate.

Month: Day: Year:


I must wonder how accurate these things are because I would have guessed that I am the Fool....  Oh well, at least as the Chariot I can take all of the BBW's for a spin...   Give the birthday tarot card wheel a spin and see what happens.......   WOhahahahahahahaaaaaaaa

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sick and tired... a cliche [Nov. 3rd, 2004|02:31 pm]
Here I sit on my couch at 3 pm Wednesday... after being sent home Monday sick, staying home Tuesday sick, and going in today because my boss is in Washington DC for several meetings and I thought he might need some help from back here (which he did). I sit here wondering f the flu is worsened by the stress that Shirley is causing or if I am just a weenie... I miss my babies lots and I want to see them ever day... my Katie has a smile that lights up the day and Douglas has a dripping sarcasm that cuts through the hardest of souls yet cannot penetrate the innocent, and OMG Jason - there are no words to describe the multitude of things he fathoms at the same time.... he needs constant input and seeks it, thrives on it, and knows when something has changed even if he is not paying attention. They are my babies and my life is lessened without them in it...

Maybe I am delirious today - I have taken more Dayquil and am drinking orange juice. Wearing sweats and socks, no Vicks this afternoon - we will see how much I am coughing later before we do that again. Valerie is coming down with the icky stuff too, poor thing, I feel responsible but I told her to sleep at her house to avoid getting sick... I am just too irresistable and she couldn't stay away lol (this is where she will interject some witty sarcastic repaste that cuts me to the bone...) Anyway - this is just a quick update and I am tired... LAter
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The Herd [Oct. 27th, 2004|01:28 pm]
Here I sit in the Minneapolis St. Paul airport airport waiting for my plane home. I just had to move from one gate to another because the flight that was leaving to Orlando was unloaded and the plane was removed from the schedule and replaced by one from the hangar... wonder what was wrong with it??? Anyway, the reason I bring it up is not that I had to walk my fat ass to another gate but the amount of bickering that the people who where unloaded made... I mean really - what is an hour delay to swap out a plane that is questionable??? Would you rather get on a plane that is questionable or wait for an hour to be placed on a plane that is not demonstrating any problems? I just do not know about the herd!!!

Anyway, in about 4 hours I will be home in sunny San Diego (except it's not so sunny today!) I will be able to relax and let go and just get some sleep. I will be with my Valerie and I will be relaxing with her in my arms.
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Mall of America... [Oct. 26th, 2004|08:16 pm]
OMG it's huge!!!... Stop that - get your mind out of there... The Mall of America is huge... it has got to be 4 stinking miles of indoor mall. There is somewhere close to 100 restaurants and 6 floors of shopping - not to mention an amusement park in the middle of it!!! Yes, an amusement park, equipped with roller coasters, a 5 story ferris wheel, and a water log ride thing... I stood there on the 5th floor looking at the people in the amusement park riding rides and playing as if it were the middle of July in San Diego... except it's 48 degrees in Eagan MN and they are indoors... I was stunned.....


I am spoiled - yes, I am... some of you do not know that about me but I am spoiled. I have wonderful kids, a wonderful girlfriend, a wonderful job, and am working at finding peace and success in my life - I am spoiled. I read an email earlier today that talked about how lucky we all are to be in America, to be free from Oppression, to be able to get medical care, clean water, and food. To not wake up to gunfire, to not have seen the horrors of war, to have the ability to vote and participate in our goverment - we are the luckiest of peoples on this earth...

Thank you to all of my friends, thank you to my kids, thank you Shirley, thank you GOD, and Thank you VALERIE... I really love and appreciate you all.

Val, I miss you Baby and will be home soon... kisses, Gig
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Did I tell you how much I love Hockey??? [Oct. 24th, 2004|12:16 am]
The Gulls thoroughly and I mean thoroughly whooped Fresno!!!! Hans - you missed an amazing game and the fights - OMG our boys are gonna be a dominant force in the league this year. The new kids #13, 19, 25, & 44 were rockin' the house and my favorite new players are #13 Sean O'Conner (sp) and #44 Fromier (sp) who had 3 points (2g and an assist). The two of them played with tons of heart and kicked ass.... Sean literally whooped Fresno's enforcer twice - in the second period and after the end of the game!!! Their guy came back for seconds - he was unhappy about his first whoopin and wanted more - Sean obliged soundly! The game was even more wonderful cause my Val was with me... she met Kay tonight and sweetly said (like she does) "she's not even cute" I had to giggle. Cute is not a word I would use for Kay but she has her qualities.

The pregame festivities were fun too. We all met at Black Angus for appetizers and spent too much money.. We need to tailgate and byob!!! I think I am gonna recommend that in the future. The tiaras that Val and I got for Lisa and Katie were a huge hit - Lisa wore hers all night at the game. We didn't hear much of anything from Stu - he was wimpering about having his gall bladder removed - if he were to make another comment about Lil Katie I would have taken it out myself with a spoon!! In other hockey news - Jewels is way Prego... the crazy tat duse's girl is way Prego... Debbie wasn't at the game... but monkey boy was and he was is same ol' self. After the game Val and I got some food at Keiths in Mira Mesa and went to her place.

She is looking at buying a Santa Fe and I hope that she figures out a way to do it. She really wants one and it looked great on her ( I sneakied her to test drive one today) - she wore the Santa Fe really well... Hopefully she does what makes her happy; she is obsessed about it and I think that she should do something wonderful for herself. She is always doing wonderful things for others...

Well I am off to bed... here's to us all and to being true to ourselves...

P.S. - Val I love you!
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Dinner, Soccer, and Sex! [Oct. 23rd, 2004|10:11 am]
Last night was pretty great... Dinner at Mimi's and the MISL soccer game was okay too. The SD Sockers got squarely whooped but it was fun just the same. We stopped for coffee and treats on the way home at Starbucks and life was good.
All night I had been letting Val know how horny I was and how much I love her. Kissing her and nibbling her ears. Even biting her shoulder and pulling her hair. Once we got home we relaxed a little and THEN.... The sex was really really good... did something new and somethins that we do lots of and we both hit the sheets sated. Oh what a night!!!

This morning was like waking from a dream. I slept quite soundly and am late getting off and running. We have so many things packed into our lives that it takes a lot of coordination to get them all done. Sleeping til 9:30 was not in the agenda but well received just the same. I now feel like the Mad Hatter with a pocket watch running amuck hollering... "I'm late, I'm late!!!"

Oh well, I just noticed that my tummy is rumbly so there is one more thing I must do lol.

Well I am off like a prom dress... Have fun
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